The Stupid Koran

Yet more enlightening crap from our favorite medieval warlord.

The parable of those who take protectors other than Allah is that of the Spider, who builds a house; but truly the flimsiest of houses is the Spider's house; -- if but they knew. Surah 29:41

Huh? A) Not a parable. B) Huh? If but who knew what? That Mohammed couldn't craft an actual parable to save his life? What? Huh?

This one is also clear as camel shit:

And dispute you not with the People of the Book [Christians and Jews. Ed.], except in the best way, unless it be with those of whom do wrong but say "We believe in the Revelation which has come down to us, and in that which came down to you: our God and your God is One; and it is to Him we submit in Islam. Surah 29:46

The God of Islam and the God of Judaism and Christianity are not the same, and no Jew or Christian submits to the God of Islam. Given that, I have no idea what this passage means.

And finally, some Science.

See you not that the ships sail through the Ocean by the grace of Allah? -- that He may show you His signs? Verily, in this are Signs for all who persevere and give thanks. Surah 31:31

Umm. Actually it's called displacement theory, and some Greek guy named Archimedes discovered it in the bathtub. But yeah, other than that, God makes boats float. What an f-ing doofus.

Here is a recent photo of Allah making a boat float (He's concentrating REALLY hard):