Islamic Rage at New Snoopy Cartoon

Riyadh -- AP Forty-seven Muslim men were trampled to death today in a mass riot sparked by a new Peanuts cartoon featuring the irrepressible mascot dog, Snoopy. Meanwhile, in London, masked men carrying signs reading "Death to Cartoon Doggies" and "Freedom go to Hell," disrupted traffic and shouted, "Death to the Great Snoopy!"

The trouble began when Snoopy, a cartoon dog, was shown dancing to music and his ears flopped up in a manner reminiscent of the Arabic word "Allah," which kind of looks like breasts with a bunch of squiggles. Anyway, dogs are unclean in Islam, and dancing and music are strictly forbidden. Thus, Muslims were (yawn) outraged at the sight of a dancing dog whose ears momentarily took on a shape somewhat like breasts with some squiggles.

British officials were quick to strike out Peanuts cartoons from all local and national papers, and Charlie Brown was offically hung in effigy, or efigy, or ... well, a picture of him was hung from a rope, which is kind of stupid because he is, after all, only a picture to begin with. But anyway, the Brits caved and cowered in fear.

The Danish government reacted by adding a dancing Snoopy to the national flag and passed a law requiring people applying for citizenship to have a dancing Snoopy tatooed on their right bicep. Similarly in Australia, PM John Howard named tomorrow "Charles Schultz Day," and sent 20,000 new troops to Iraq.

Australian Muslim leader Shiek Habibi Walibi said, "Dancing cartoon dogs that do not wear the burkha are like raw meat in front of the camels of Islam. Who can blame the camels for attacking ... wait. Do camels eat meat?"

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