QE Dead, Brits Name Caliph

London -- AP, Sept. 11, 2007 -- Upon the recent death of the long-reigning Queen Elizabeth, the British Parliament today signaled that it is ready completely to forgo naming any successor to the Crown, and instead got right to the point and named a Caliph. Sheik Husan Al Fatwah, 47, was named Caliph of Britian in an elaborate ceremony in Buckingham (now "Buckinglamb") Palace, during which Prime Minister Gordon Brown burned St George's Flag and signed legislation outlawing the singing of "Rule Brittania" as violative of Sharia law.

"Why not get this over with and save ourselves 50 years of worry and grief?" Brown said. Al Fatwah then ordered Brown's head removed and all of his considerable assets confiscated.