En Joie!

Untitled

Billy ran as fast as he could away from the crash of the broken window, down the hill on the side of the house and up over the dirt piles that the Bobcats had deposited from digging out the foundation months ago. Billy then raced through the construction fence around the back of the house. It was spring but the ground was hard. Men shouted inside the house making a noise like loud, wounded wild animals.

Once through the fence, Billy slipped into the narrow alleyway next to the Jensens' garage, hopped their peeling picket fence, and landed in Mrs. Jensen's newly dug garden with both feet. The wild animals were barely audible now, but the shreek from Mrs. Jensen -- who was just then staring out her kitchen window -- re-fired Billy's heart and he took off around the house, through the front yard, and dashed into the lilacs across the street, heading for home.

Just then, a shot rang out. A dog barked. Three small chickens cackled. A writer became bored. He -- the writer, not Billy -- had finished his five minutes of writing, and was ready to go back and play chess.

Five Minutes

There's an ancient Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times." Today, the forces of good, justice, human rights, liberty and human progress -- i.e., Western Civilization -- are under attack from without and from within. From without, Islamic fundamentalists using Western-created weapons, Western-developed technologies, Western propaganda techniques -- because nothing that the Islamic world has developed in the last thousand years is of any military value today --

Jesus this is boring. If you don't understand this story by now, little good it will do for me to explain it to you. Anyway, we live in interesting times. The next five hundred years of human history are at stake.

I have work to do tonight.

Blew that one!

It's hard to get five straight minutes on line when your 15 year-old daughter thinks access to the internet is an inalienable right. Church this morning, then youth service practice, then Da Bears over at Rick's house with a 72-foot HD TV screen -- maybe it's not quite that big, but it's huge! Followed by some work, and then a meeting with some friends over coffee. Lest night I read most of PJ O'Rourke's "Parliament of Whores," after reading "Give War a Chance." PJ is hilarious. I have "Peace Kills; America's Fun New Imperialism," also by PJ, waiting in the wings. Can't wait. My other favorite writer right now is Rick Reilly at Sports Illustrated. In fact, his column is the only reason I get that magazine. What is it with these Irish guys?

Five minutes

Barack Obama is nuts, and is going to toss his political career on the rocks. Obama has no experience, and will get chewed up alive running for president. If he's lucky, he'll crap out early on and back away. If he does well early, he's toast, and by the end of this political season will be such damaged goods he'll never be able to run for national office again. I can't believe a freshman Senator is running for president. Hillary Clinton will eat him for a snack.

That ain't five minutes worth but it's all I got tonight.

A New Day

This is going to be really, really boring for awhile. I've decided to spend at least five minutes a day writing on my blog, instead of waiting for my brilliant muse to strike me. I need the practice. I have no topic today, however. Is my five minutes up? Tick tick tick. Nope.

I've been listening to the new Jars of Clay album, Good Monsters. "There is a River" is the best cut on it, followed closely by "Oh My God." Nice album.

I began to read Ann Coulter's "Godless -- The Church of American Liberalism." The first chapter is a good read and she makes some good, if wildly over-exagerated (why don't they have spell check on blogger?) points. Sounds to me like she doesn't know any liberal Christians. I know lots. Anyway, after the first chapter, she just gets ... screechy or something. I'm sure there are coherent points in the rest of the book, but it's hard to tell between all of the hawk-like screeches and various ways of referring to Bill Clinton's tete-a-tete with Monica Lewinski, which appears at least once every two pages after the first chapter. I put it down after the third chapter. Ann -- Less screechy please. At least if you want me to read you.

Ding! Five minutes! Wee ha!

Congress shall make no law ...

... abridging the freedom of speech. First Amendment to the US Constitution.

Two of the flakiest left wingers in the U.S. Congress -- John Conyers and Dennis Kucinich -- are among those proposing a Congressional Resolution stating that Congress:

1. condemns bigotry, acts of violence, and intolerance against any religious group, including our friends, neighbors, and citizens of the Islamic faith;
2. declares that the civil rights and civil liberties of all individuals, including those of the Islamic faith, should be protected;
3. recognizes that the Quran, the holy book of Islam, as any other holy book of any religion, should be treated with dignity and respect; and
4. calls upon local, State, and Federal authorities to work to prevent bias-motivated crimes and acts against all individuals, including those of the Islamic faith.

This is a toe-in-the-water "resolution" -- not a law carrying penalties for its violation yet -- testing whether religious "bias crime" laws will be tolerated, that especially picks out for protection the religious faith of our nation's enemies. Odd bit of work here, no?

Tell me; Have I violated this resolution if I write that Islam is a horrific religion raising to the level of sacred law the backward, limiting, freedom-hating, militaristic, human enslaving tribal laws of a 6th Century charismatic madman? Or if I write that the Koran is a third-rate piece of literature that reveals more about its author's ignorance than it reveals about God?

Why shouldn't I be able to write that? What if I think it's true -- which I do, based on my own reading of the Koran and study of the religion?

I think this resolution, were it in fact a penalty-carrying law, would outlaw such statements. After all, it would outlaw "intolerance" and "bias motivated ... acts." There are laws on the books in some countries, Australia among them, that do outlaw "bias crimes." Two evangelical preachers there have been convicted of violating that law for reading quotations from the Koran itself and pointing out how violent much of it is. That case is on appeal and I can only hope the Australian legislature realizes in the meantime what a stupid law it is.

I will watch with interest what happens with this stupid Resolution. If it passes, this Congress may actually get around to trying to pass it as a law with teeth.
Here is the full text of the Resolution.

House Resolution 288

Oh, and here's a photo of my Koran, post read:

Muslim Outrage at Saddam's Decapitation

AP -- Baghdad

Muslims here in Baghdad staged massive protests today over the above pictured decapitation of former Iraqi President Saddam Hoodat.

"I am massively outraged," said Mohammed Al-Wuzzahwuzzah, referring to the execution of Hoodat, who personally ordered the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Iraqi Kurds and Shi'ites, the rape and torture of thousands of otherwise innocent Iraqis, and sent millions of Iraqis to their deaths in the Iraq-Iran war. "This is a travesty of human injustice."

"I was also really pissed about those cartoons," Al-hoody-hoody said. Get a frickin' name, wouldja?

"Oh, wait," said Al-zippidee-doodah, "That's just an innocent cow. Never mind."