Lutheran assassins hunt down beer-mockers

Berlin (AP) -- A dozen Lutheran assassins have been released to hunt down and kill the people who wrote, filmed and acted in a recent Budweiser commercial that mocked European made so-called "foofy-beers," as the ad called them, a description which does not reflect the opinions and/or policies of the Associated Press. The ads purport to show a man in lederhosen drinking beer from a tea cup with his pinky extended. The Lutheran Church has called the images "insulting," and as "mocking Lutherans, and indeed, all good beer-drinking Christians."

Major news outlets have refrained from showing the actual lederhosen-pinky-flicking image out of fear for ... no wait, because a description suffices and, um, we don't want unnecessarily insult violent ... no wait, um, Lutherans.

Reached for comment, the author of the foofy-beer ad said, "Really? Well, thank God I didn't draw a picture of the Medieval Tribal Warlord Mohammed. Those people are pissed."

No, not really.

Actually, twelve Muslims are headed out from Pakistan and Afghanistan to hunt down the Danish Mohammed cartoonists and hand them "Religion of Peace" medallions to thank them for their contribution to the discourse between Islam annd Christianity. Whoops! I lie again. To kill them, of course. What else would you do when your religion has no sense of humor.

Lutherans not hunting down foofy beer ad people

Here are recent photos of some of the assassins: