Clarification

I had some comments on the last Stupid Fatwah noting that Jewish dietary rules also prohibit fish and shrimp and was I making fun of Jews, too. I wasn't clear, so let me clarify. What I was making fun of was not the dietary rule, but the "reasoning," such as it is, that leads to the rule.

The Jews, from what little I know, don't pretend to know why God doesn't want them to eat shrimp -- "it's just God's rule, so we do it." But the Islamic clerics -- or at least this one -- always seem to be so sure.

Here's the quote,

'Two carions are made Halaal [permissible] for us; Fish and locust.
' (Mishkaat vol.2 pg.361). Fish is classified as a Vertebra.

Shrimps and lobsters are not vertebras, hence, not permissible

Oh, "hence." Of course. Except, friends, locusts aren't vertebrates. But never mind -- hence it is.

Stupid Fatwah Monday! No Red Lobster for you, Achmed!

Obviously, since lobsters and shrimp don't have spines but live in the ocean, you can't eat them. I mean, really. C'mon, it's so obvious. Who could argue with such iron clad reasoning? Clearly the Arabs have a superior civilization.

Fish with no spines are forbidden

Okay, so far what, no shorts, no pants below the ankle, no beer, no bikinis, no Savior ... just what is it that attracts people to this religion?

Now, sing along with me: (To the tune of "Amazing Grace")

Lobsters don't have spines
but they live in the ocean,
nor do shrimp, and they do,
too.

So, clearly you can't eat them,
because Allah says so,
But chopping off infidels'
heads, that's cool.

Is this the dumbest religion ever?
Gee I don't really know!
Let's ask the guy over there selling
Surf and Turf, Oops, he said, yes it really
is a stupid religion.

Mont Joie!

Here is a recent photo of the Imam issuing this week's Stupid Fatwah!

Capitalism is the root of all evil

Not.

There's a book out there called "Wealthy Christians in a Hundgry World." Very good title. According to the reviews I've read, the book not so much.

Why? Because -- according to the reviews -- it attacks capitalism and espouses some form of socialism; a "system of just processes" and the like, to protect Mankind from all the bad things people do. Won't work, sorry.

This book was written in the 70's and is now making the rounds again in certain churches. While I agree with the sentiment behind the title, socialism and "just processes won't fix a thing.

Here's the deal. Capitalism -- or as it really is in the US, regulated capitalism --is an economic system, not a moral system. Capitalism has proven highly effective at producing more. More what? That's my point. More anything you want. Thus it is that poor people in the US live like middle class people or even upper class people in other countries. That's a good thing that Capitalism has done.

But Capitalism is not to blame for the fact that you decided to buy a car rather than give $20,000 to a food bank. It is not Capitalism's fault that your neighbor decided to buy yet another beach property rather than give that money to help build a shelter for battered women. Who's fault is that? Yours, not Capitalism's. By the way, I'm as guilty as you are. The problem is not Capitalism, but peoples' hearts. Unfortunately, that's a really hard sell compared to blaming Capitalism.

And that leads to the second problem. "Just processes" are not machines that you can set up that will run along creating justice. They're inhabited by -- uh oh -- human beings; human beings who make flawed, imperfectly informed decisions based on what they, in their little hearts, think is best. But wait a minute! These are the same people who buy new cars instead of food for the poor! Again, the "processes" are not the problem.

Anyway, my two cents.

Uh oh

Stupid Fatwah Monday!

This one, combined with the last stupid fatwah, is priceless. Of course (given the last stupid fatwah) you aren't allowed to argue with the Imams when they say Adam was created "as is" with no evolution, yadda yadda yadda. Here's the Adam fatwah:

No evolution in Islam


Obviously, this same complaint applies to Christian fundamentalists, who, in my view, are equally stupid for accepting as literal truth the FIRST HALF of the creation story (which, reading the second half makes it clear this is not a literal story but something else) instead of listening to the Jews (who wrote the damned thing after all) about what these stories mean in a much different sense -- and a sense which speaks -- to me -- volumes about human nature that are completely lost in a literal view of it. Um. Forgot where I was going here. Anyway. A pox on both their houses. Nyaa. Adam is a fiction. Mohammed was wrong. PPPPllllppppptttt.

Ill get to this in detail when I get around to my next Koran criticism.

Here is recent photo of the Imam issuing his stupid fatwah:

Some news speaks for itself

Stupid Fatwah Monday!

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Don't try to think for yourself about religion. Have a question? We'll tell you the answers. And don't think about them or disagree. If you do, you're not a Muslim.

Are Muslims really this stupid?

How can such a transparently intellectually stifeling (sp?) and controlling doctrine have survived 1400 years? Sheesh.

Here is a recent photo of the imam issuing this week's stupid fatwah!

A very offensive picture

Why is everyone so easily offended these days? Here's a picture of Mohammed.



Oh no wait. That's Chief Illiniwek. A completely different offended bunch there. Here's the picture of Mohammed.



Whoops! The Chicago Blackhawk's Indian Head Logo. Dang.

More Power to Him

Morocco's Director of Islamic Affairs has a "radical" agenda.

Some of his actions:

"They helped mobilize more than one million Moroccans to take to the streets of Casablanca in May 2003 to denounce radical Islamic terrorism—a march in which 1,000 Moroccan Jews openly participated and were warmly embraced by the Muslim community.

They launched a theological training program for Imams to teach them how to promote moderation within Islam, to teach them more about Western history and the importance of Christianity and Judaism to Western social and political development, and to help them identify and oppose extremist forces and trends within Islam. Participants take 32 hours of instruction per week for a full year. The first class of 210 just graduated, and included 55 women.

They helped organize the “World Congress of Rabbis and Imams for Peace” in Brussels (January 2005) and Seville (March 2006) where some 150 Muslim and Jewish leaders “sit beard to beard” to explore common ground, denounce extremists, and “write declarations of peace.”'

You can read the whole thing here:

Moroccan Reformer

Kurdish Sunnis and Shia's meet and pray together

This is astonishing. The official Sunni ruling on Shia's is that they are not even Muslims (That may be a future Monday Stupid Fatwah). But then again this is Kurdistan, where they tend to be a little more "American" about things. Still, a very good sign for at least that third of Iraq.

Sunnis and Shia's Meet

Things are getting better in Iraq

Here is the Brookings Institute's survey of multiple social indicators in Iraq. Security is better, and Gross Domestic Product is up about 50% over two years ago, although unemployment is a whopping 25% and 66% of GDP is oil revenue. It's a pdf file, so you'll need Adobe Reader (TM).


Brookings Institute Iraq Study

Stupid Fartwah Monday!

Television is not allowed in Islam. Really?

Not even Al Jazeera

Lutheran assassins hunt down beer-mockers

Berlin (AP) -- A dozen Lutheran assassins have been released to hunt down and kill the people who wrote, filmed and acted in a recent Budweiser commercial that mocked European made so-called "foofy-beers," as the ad called them, a description which does not reflect the opinions and/or policies of the Associated Press. The ads purport to show a man in lederhosen drinking beer from a tea cup with his pinky extended. The Lutheran Church has called the images "insulting," and as "mocking Lutherans, and indeed, all good beer-drinking Christians."

Major news outlets have refrained from showing the actual lederhosen-pinky-flicking image out of fear for ... no wait, because a description suffices and, um, we don't want unnecessarily insult violent ... no wait, um, Lutherans.

Reached for comment, the author of the foofy-beer ad said, "Really? Well, thank God I didn't draw a picture of the Medieval Tribal Warlord Mohammed. Those people are pissed."

No, not really.

Actually, twelve Muslims are headed out from Pakistan and Afghanistan to hunt down the Danish Mohammed cartoonists and hand them "Religion of Peace" medallions to thank them for their contribution to the discourse between Islam annd Christianity. Whoops! I lie again. To kill them, of course. What else would you do when your religion has no sense of humor.

Lutherans not hunting down foofy beer ad people

Here are recent photos of some of the assassins:

La Quran, Part III

The third installment.

Sura 2, v. 62, "Those who believe in the Quran, and those who follow the Jewish scriptures, and the Christians and the Sabians -- any who believe in Allah and the Last Day, and work righteousness, shall have their reward with their Lord, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve."

That sounds nice. But it doesn't say "nor shall they pay the tax on unbelievers (jizzyah) and be social equals to Muslims. And in fact, they did and they weren't. But this is an early Sura before the Jews and Christians rejected Mohammed. He has other words for them later.

But, jeez, you ask, how can the infallible word of God say two different things about Jews and Christians?

Sura 2, v. 106, "None of Our revelations do we abrogate or cause to be forgotten, but We substitute something better or similar: know you not that Allah has power over all things?"

Mohammed had been accused of changing things even this early on, or forgetting verses. His answer? God "substitutes" better verses. That's how he can be nice-nice to Jews and Christians early on, and then order people to fight them incessantly later.

Sura 2, v. 116, "They say, 'Allah has begotten a son': Glory be to Him -- No, to Him belongs all that is in the heavens and on earth: everything renders worship to him."

This is one of the passages that makes me wonder how Allah and the Christian God can possibly be the same being. The Christian God says "This is my Son, in who I am well pleased." The Muslim God says, "Whoa, not my kid!" They can't possibly be the same, now can they? So, if they're not the same, then only one of them is actually God, right? And the other one claims to be God, but isn't, and therefore is ... what? Lying? Hmm. Who would lie about a thing like that? I can't imagine.

Yes, you're catching my drift.

In my upcoming posts I intend to keep them to a single coherent thread rather than bouncing around like this, but the Koran itself bounces around incoherently like this so some of this can't be helped.

Salaam. Oh , and if you're female and not wearing a giant black bedsheet, don't go anywhere near a Muslim man. (See the Stupid Fatwah below)

Here's a recent photo of a Muslim man when a woman not wearing a large black bedsheet walks past him:

Stupid Fatwah Monday!

A woman who is raped is to blame if she wasn't wearing the Hijab, or hajib, or whatever, a big blanket, because she seduced her rapist by revealing her form.

Are Muslim men really so utterly incapable of self-control?

Hijab'a'wanna'layya

Here is a recent photo of the imam issuing his Stupid Fatwah!: