Jabba the Gore: Global Warming Caused by Muslim Outrage

AP -- Former US vice president Jabba the Gore today announced a suspected new culprit in the inevitable and terrifying future in store for Humankind caused by Global Warming, maybe. Speaking at a conference with Iranian President Makmood Amentojihad, Gore said Muslim outrage may be raising global temperatures even faster than is human progress and industry.

Gore uncharacteristically lashed out at the leader of Shi-ite Iran, mumbling through has cascading fat globs, "Not only do Muslims give off more body heat when they're outraged, but the incessant shouting of 'Allah Akbar' and 'Death to America' releases massive amounts of carbon dioxide, which is scientifically and definitively proven to have some sort of ill-understood statistical relationship to warmer temperatures around the globe, or maybe colder temperatures. Anyway, it's bad!"

Amentojihad expressed (yawn) outrage that the movie "300" portrayed Persians as military losers at the Battle of Thermopylae and as not nearly as buff as the Greeks. "It is well known and historically proven that Persia prevailed at the battle, and then went on to conquer Greece completely, and there never was any Holocaust, and also the Persians had lovely tummies and underwear bulgings just as large as the Greeks," Amentojihad shouted at the top of his lungs over the giggling of the Iranian ambassador behind him, releasing nearly as much carbon dioxide as Jabba's personal jet in three minutes at top speed.

"And these kinds if things:





"Well, who wouldn't be outraged? JIHAD, JIHAD!" he said.

"Are you tired of this?" the author said. "Me too."