Wood Chips Violate Constitutional Rights

AP -- In yet another landmark ruling, a federal court in the Ninth Circuit ruled this week that wood chips violate the civil rights of disabled children because the chips prevent the disabled from accessing playground equipment where they can do gymnastics, cartwheels, one-armed push-ups, and all of those other activities they would most certainly do were it not for the rights-violating processed-tree leavings. The district court ruled that the chips violate disabled childrens' 14th Amendment Constitutional right to prevent other children from behaving non-disabledly.

As a result of the ruling, wood chips in the school district, and possibly throughout California if the ruling sticks, will be sentenced to up to 15 months in federal prison, pay fines ranging up to $10,000 each, per violation, and be required to randomly injure so-called "non-disabled" children until all children in the district are incapable of using the playground equipment.

Replacement of the offending chips will relieve the district involved of nearly $3 million.

"This fine came along at just the right moment," a spokesman for the school district said today. "We were in danger of having money to spend on history, literacy and the arts. Today's important fine will ensure that the chlidren of this district will remain in -- metaphorically speaking -- little intellectual wheelchairs from which they will be unable to reach the little intellectual parallel bars and the dreaded swing-set of thought."

The spokesman was instantly arrested for intentional abuse of a minor metaphor.

Tree chips violate childrens' rights

Happy Saint George's Day!

You say "Tomato," I say "Fruit in a Burkha"

Islam is a parody of itself.

"American commanders cite al-Qaida's severe brand of Islam, which is so extreme that in Baqouba, al-Qaida has warned street vendors not to place tomatoes beside cucumbers because the vegetables are different genders, Col. David Sutherland said."

You can't make this crap up -- 4th paragraph

Apologies to non-yawpy Brits

More Brits Becoming Evangelical

Interesting article. Notes success of a parish that "developed an outreach course for newcomers called Alpha, which explains the basics of Christianity." Meanwhile, Anglican and Episcopalian churches that attempt to explain away things such as the resurrection under "more reasonable" terms dwindle to nothing thanks to great minds like John "Christianity Must Change Or Die" Spong (or Spong John No Pants, as I call him). Apparently, the old "basics" work better.

Two other points. First, the article notes "antiChristian" laws becoming more prevalent. I don't know what those are, but it's funny -- if true -- that at the same time British lawmakers are bending over backwards to accomodate their future slavemasters, the Muslims. Second, it's too bad that the evangelicalism taking hold in Britain is apparently so rabidly anti-homosexual. I know several homosexuals who are wonderful Christians, and others who wish they could "go back" to Church but are afraid. Anyway, that's my take.

The Easter Bunny Meets British Yawps

Yawpy Brits

Some British yawp I was reading (the Brits make the best yawps) quoted the philospher David Hume on the issue of miracles. The yawp, of course, is too smart to believe in such things and apparently believes such belief should be outlawed. Whatever. Anyway, here is what he quotes Hume saying

A miracle, began Hume (On Miracles, pt I), “may be accurately defined, [as] a transgression of a law of Nature by a particular volition of the Deity”.

But “there is not to be found, in all history, any miracle attested by a sufficient number of men, of such unquestioned good sense, education and learning, as to secure us against all delusion in themselves.”

Um -- Huh? What about the resurrection of Jesus? Little miracle there, if true, right? And the New Testament says hundreds witnessed it, and then told others, revolutionized their lives and the communities around them, and in many cases then died violent deaths for insisting the resurrection was real.

There are two responses, I guess. I would assume 500 witnesses would be "a sufficient number," or else there probably isn't a sufficient number of witnesses to prove any historical event before the age of videotape. The responses to the resurrection evidence are (i) "these are not people of good sense," or (ii) "they lack education and learning."

The first response is simply untenable. How can anyone know whether an individual is a person of good sense without meeting them or otherwise having evidence of some other kind to assess their good sense? No doubt, the yawp would say, "well, they believed in resurrection; how could they have any good sense?" But not having seen what they saw, the yawp is merely passing on these witnesses' good sense based on his own prejudices and experiences. Having done so, he has no reason to examine the rest of their story: how these people changed, what they did in response to what they experienced, and what they were willing to give to assert its truth. In other words, the yawp's dismissal of this testimony is baseless.

The second response is simply a philosopher's mask: What he means is -- they don't have the same education or learning that I do. Because I -- the yawpish philosopher -- have been educated to believe as I do and learned that such things as resurrections are hogwash, then they are hogwash, and anyone who disagrees "lacks education and learning" and so is an incompetent witness.

I don't really care what the yawp says or believes, I was just struck by the Hume quote, which seems laughable in light of the historical evidence for the resurrection of Jesus. If I were this yawp I would be directing my attention toward the purveyors of Shariah law, under which he will soon live if he is not careful. But I suppose it's safer bad mouthing Christians. Hmm. A coward and a yawp.

Here is a recent photo of a philopher's mask:

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Click Left!

Virginia Tech

I posted this comment to a Guardian (UK) editorial calling for gun control in response to the VT tragedy:

The American character and the federal system of its government, thank God, make it impossible that national-level legislation will "solve" America's gun violence problem and "prove[] itself []able to defend its ordinary citizens from its armed maniacs." Americans do not want a Mommy-Government to protect them from isolated, albeit tragic, instances like the VT massacre. We do not want Mommy to take away all of our rights to make sure the scary men go away. We do not trust the Left's argument that more government control will make us safer; we trust ourselves more than government. Until you understand that you will never understand the majority American view on this issue. Do we have leftists here who want to hide behind Mommy's skirts? Sure. Thankfully they're still the few.

Gas Leak Fingered in Butte Blast

How do I find these things?

AP - Damascus -- Speaking in Damascus, Syria, today, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she enjoyed her clitorectomy very much, and that Syria is now ready to make peace with Israel.

"All the Syrians ask is that the entire Jewish population of Israeli walk into the sea and drown, and Syria is ready and willing to make peace," Pelosi said. "That seems reasonable to me."

Isreali Prime Minister Yahud Olmert responded that, "The chick is nuts."

The White House had originally asked Pelosi to forego her diplomatic efforts with Syria, but now has retracted its statements to that effect.

"This is just too rich," one White House spokesman said. "We're kinda hoping she goes to Iran next."

Muslim Clerics Change Tune!

Mecca -- AP -- Muslim clerics from all over the globe today called for tolerence, peace, human rights, respect for women and homosexuals, democracy, an end to slavery and war, renounced 6th-century Sharia law, and declared that the cartoons of Mohammed were not only okay, some were actually pretty funny.

Jabba the Gore Testifies Before Congress

AP -- Former US vice-president and Carbon-Footprint God Jabba the Gore testified before Congress today that "hardly any" puppy blood is utilized in the manufacture of florescent lightbulbs. Caught on the defensive before the Committee to Destroy American Business, Jabba admitted, however, that carbon offsets depend almost entirely upon puppy blood to reduce the amount of carbon that Jabba's personal jet and Nashville mansion consume in an hour -- which is almost as many calories as Jabba consumes in an hour, but that's another story.

Speaking of another story, a duck walked into a bar and said, "hey, you got any duck food?" The bartender said, "This is a bar, we don't carry duck food."

[Editors: We're sorry. The prior reporter has been shot. Thank you.]

Jabba testified that he also purchases "calorie offsets," from African tribes whose children starve to death due to lack of water, electricity and other common modern items that they will be denied to save the Planet from Global Warming. "It's simple," Jabba murgled between half-pound McDonald's burgers, "Two cheeseburgers, one dead African baby. I'm calorie neutral!"

Jabba then swallowed three week-old Shamrock shakes (two and on-half African 3 year-olds), farted (two carbon-offsets, or its equivalent, one African village without power for six months), as the Committee members hailed him as a "prophet."

"You're a damn prophet is what you are!" said one syncophantic Democratic Congressman (as distinguished from the other syncophantic Democratic Congressmen. Oh, and Congresswomen!) "Why, I recall when you said there would be information all over the place, and now there is, and then you said there was global warming, and it's like, what, 70 degrees outside!"

"But not the The Prophet, you know, that Mohamed guy, I mean, there's a prophet!" Syncophant-Boy continued. "Phew, that was close."

Jabba farted again, leaving that village without power for an entire year.

The Horror!

There is just no winning, is there? Try to save the planet, and then this:

Our Next President Reviews Iranian Reviews of 300

Fred Thompson on "300"

Man reads my mind. Oh, day almost 60 or so.

Guess Who!

Jabba the Gore: Global Warming Caused by Muslim Outrage

AP -- Former US vice president Jabba the Gore today announced a suspected new culprit in the inevitable and terrifying future in store for Humankind caused by Global Warming, maybe. Speaking at a conference with Iranian President Makmood Amentojihad, Gore said Muslim outrage may be raising global temperatures even faster than is human progress and industry.

Gore uncharacteristically lashed out at the leader of Shi-ite Iran, mumbling through has cascading fat globs, "Not only do Muslims give off more body heat when they're outraged, but the incessant shouting of 'Allah Akbar' and 'Death to America' releases massive amounts of carbon dioxide, which is scientifically and definitively proven to have some sort of ill-understood statistical relationship to warmer temperatures around the globe, or maybe colder temperatures. Anyway, it's bad!"

Amentojihad expressed (yawn) outrage that the movie "300" portrayed Persians as military losers at the Battle of Thermopylae and as not nearly as buff as the Greeks. "It is well known and historically proven that Persia prevailed at the battle, and then went on to conquer Greece completely, and there never was any Holocaust, and also the Persians had lovely tummies and underwear bulgings just as large as the Greeks," Amentojihad shouted at the top of his lungs over the giggling of the Iranian ambassador behind him, releasing nearly as much carbon dioxide as Jabba's personal jet in three minutes at top speed.

"And these kinds if things:





"Well, who wouldn't be outraged? JIHAD, JIHAD!" he said.

"Are you tired of this?" the author said. "Me too."

WARNING! Massive Global Warming Forecast for Northern Hemisphere in 2007!

AP -- Scientists today issued a stern warning that global temperatures in the northern hemisphere are widely anticipated to skyrocket beginning roughly on March 21 of this year.

"The scientific community is four-square behind these predictions," said former vice president Jabba the Gore. "All meteorological scientists worth their salt are predicting a massive temperature increase of up to 40 degress in just the next few months, possibly 60 degrees or more by August."

Scientists predicted massive snow melts in upper Michigan and Minnesota, coupled with major life cycle changes throughout the hemisphere.

"Flowers will bloom, grass grow, and solar-energy absorbing leaf-like structures will appear on many trees and bushes throughout the northern hemisphere," said one scientist. "This will only serve to increase the threat of continued global warming -- hey, aren't you supposed to capitalize that? -- beyond August and into the so-called 'winter months.' Unless, of course, the earth tilts or something."

98 Percent of Americans are not War Strategists

A new poll released today found that 98 percent of registered American voters are not military strategist, political experts or military historians. Poll watchers wondered whether these facts had anything to do with other poll news yesterday, in which it was revealed that 58 percent of Americans "want the troops out of Iraq in 2008."

"Seems to me," said one poll watcher, "that today's poll numbers indicate that a good number of those asserting yesterday that they troops should leave Iraq actually have no knowledge on which to base their opinions."

Democratic strategist and National Committee Chair Howard Dean commented that "YEEEARRRRRGH! Who needs knowledge? We got emotion! YEEARRRRGH!"

Winston Churchill

"If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory is sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you with only a precarious chance of survival. There may be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is not hope of victory at all, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves."

Rivers of Africa (1893)

300

I wish I could say this is a great movie. It's a lot of fun, and there are definitely some heroic moments in it and some "ra ra freedom" stuff. The cinematography is excellent, and ... did I say this? It's a lot of fun. But don't go to this movie thinking you're seeing Martin Scorcese picture or anything. It's a moving comic book -- which is exactly what it's advertised as.
I've read some of the reviews, and they are all over the top. Those hating the movie compare it to Hitler-era antiSemitic propaganda. Nah, it's too silly for that. Those who love the movie make claims about the film's "greatness" that just don't wash. It's fun. It's silly. It's a moving comic book.
There is a narrator in this film. I understand that this is supposed to be the like the narrator lines in a comic book, but it's utterly annoying, and makes for several laughable moments. Problem is, some of those moments are, apparently, supposed to be the most serious and inspiring. The narration turns these moments into silliness.
There is one moment in the movie, though, that strikes me as very true to real military experience. I hesitate to say what that moment is, because I don't want to spoil anything for anyone. But anyway, here goes (we're talking about a comic book, after all). Early in the movie one of Xerxes' minions threatens the Spartans that "Our arrows will blot out the sun." One of the Spartans responds, Spartanly, "Then we will fight in the shade." Cool line, fine.
Later on, though, the Persians actually launch their arrows, and the Spartans look up in some awe at the spectacle, as the arrows actually blot out the sun. Then the Spartans raise their shields and hide under them, all within earshot of each other, while the arrows rain down for a couple minutes. While they're all hiding under their shields, the Spartans laugh about "fighting in the shade" and other jokes, poking fun at each other, ridiculing the Persians for cowardice and the like. This scene feels real.
The rest of it, though, is just a fun moving comic book. Don't take it too seriously.

New Impeachment Strategery

AP -- Democratic National Committee Chair Howard YEEEAAARG Dean announced to day that the DNC will seek the impeachment of President George W. Bush using the services of Wiccan and Voodoo priestesses to undermine Bush's karma and make his chakras go all higgeldy-piggeldy.
"YEEEAAARG!" said Dean, who has given up making intelligible statements after realizing he never was going to live down the "yeeaaarg" thing.
Former vice president and acting stand-in double for the Planet Earth at his oft-snowed-in Global Warming conferences, Al Gore, commented, "Hey, that's exactly how we came up with the evidence for Global Warming! Great! Why do you guys always capitalize Global Warming?"
Former president and acting stand-in-double for a Mad-Cow-disease-infected traitor to Christendom, Jimmah "the Rabbit" Carter, said he applauded the multi-faith efforts to unseat President Bush.
"Mebah we could geeyit some uh them Jeeyoos to take the blood from the Christian kids they usually use for matzos and have them sprinkle it on the voodoo dolls," Carter said.

Democrats adopt new strategy for Bush Impeachment

Polar Bears Thriving in Global Warming

Is ANYTHING that Gore says true?

Bears like warm weather, too

Allah

This is my interpretation of the word "Allah" in Arabic script. Thank you.

Bible Study

There is - apparently - quite a controversy out there over the meaning of the word "Theophilus," which is the first word in Luke's Gospel. This controversy can now be laid to rest thanks to my in-depth research, which reveals as follows.

Theophilus means "that particular ophilus." Similarly, "anophilus" means, "one ophilus, but not any particular ophilus." "Thoseophiluses" means "that group of ophiluses in particular." And "themthereophiluses" means "you are talking about ophiluses in rural Mississippi."

You may now return to your regularly scheduled Bible study. Thank you.

Is Yo Bama a Llama?

The news says Barack Obama's ancestors owned slaves. So ... does he have to pay himself reparations?

Day 38 or something

Ahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!

Huffy Go BOOM!

"I love the smell of burning Muslim in the morning. It smells, it smell like victory."

Here's a photo of the head they found in the field:

Get Your Carbon Offsets!

Click the title of this post and you will be taken to a website where, for only $19.95, you can actually purchase the right to emit carbon because the person you buy it from will promise not to emit carbon IN THE EXACT AMOUNT YOU WANT TO USE! Isn't technology amazing? This came to my attention when I heard that some right wing radio commenter had made fun of Al Gore for flying around in private jets while brow-beating you and me for driving cars. Gore's spokeman apparently responded that Gore buys these "offset" things, so it's okay.

By the way, if you're feeling guilty about, say, committing murder, robbing the local gas station, cheating on your spouse, etc etc., FOR ONLY $19.95 -- sent to me via PayPal -- I will offset your sins by NOT murdering anyone, robbing a gas station or cheating on your spouse! Think of the freedom, ladies and gentleman! And, in the Spirit of Good Capitalist Competition, for just $17.95, I too will refrain from emitting more carbons than normal -- IN THE EXACT AMOUNT THAT YOU EMIT THEM! And, since this is the Internets, there's NO TAX! Hurry!

Day 32

QE Dead, Brits Name Caliph

London -- AP, Sept. 11, 2007 -- Upon the recent death of the long-reigning Queen Elizabeth, the British Parliament today signaled that it is ready completely to forgo naming any successor to the Crown, and instead got right to the point and named a Caliph. Sheik Husan Al Fatwah, 47, was named Caliph of Britian in an elaborate ceremony in Buckingham (now "Buckinglamb") Palace, during which Prime Minister Gordon Brown burned St George's Flag and signed legislation outlawing the singing of "Rule Brittania" as violative of Sharia law.

"Why not get this over with and save ourselves 50 years of worry and grief?" Brown said. Al Fatwah then ordered Brown's head removed and all of his considerable assets confiscated.

Help A Medieval Warlord Dress Up!

You can help Mohammed get dressed! Outfits include a burning airplane, a taxi cab, a burkha -- he'd love that! -- an Abu Graib electrocution outfit, even an Uncle Sam hat! Try it!
Dress a Murdering Pedophile!

Hillary Clinton Calls for Withdrawal

AP -- And so many people thought she was talking about troops.

:-D

Day 26

Islamic Rage at New Snoopy Cartoon

Riyadh -- AP Forty-seven Muslim men were trampled to death today in a mass riot sparked by a new Peanuts cartoon featuring the irrepressible mascot dog, Snoopy. Meanwhile, in London, masked men carrying signs reading "Death to Cartoon Doggies" and "Freedom go to Hell," disrupted traffic and shouted, "Death to the Great Snoopy!"

The trouble began when Snoopy, a cartoon dog, was shown dancing to music and his ears flopped up in a manner reminiscent of the Arabic word "Allah," which kind of looks like breasts with a bunch of squiggles. Anyway, dogs are unclean in Islam, and dancing and music are strictly forbidden. Thus, Muslims were (yawn) outraged at the sight of a dancing dog whose ears momentarily took on a shape somewhat like breasts with some squiggles.

British officials were quick to strike out Peanuts cartoons from all local and national papers, and Charlie Brown was offically hung in effigy, or efigy, or ... well, a picture of him was hung from a rope, which is kind of stupid because he is, after all, only a picture to begin with. But anyway, the Brits caved and cowered in fear.

The Danish government reacted by adding a dancing Snoopy to the national flag and passed a law requiring people applying for citizenship to have a dancing Snoopy tatooed on their right bicep. Similarly in Australia, PM John Howard named tomorrow "Charles Schultz Day," and sent 20,000 new troops to Iraq.

Australian Muslim leader Shiek Habibi Walibi said, "Dancing cartoon dogs that do not wear the burkha are like raw meat in front of the camels of Islam. Who can blame the camels for attacking ... wait. Do camels eat meat?"

Day 22

The Retreat

The retreat was great. We had a new imam at the mosque, a Lebanese man. His answers were pat and unconvincing. Asked about terrorism, he said "People would not do such things if they were not poor and lived in a just society." He saw me looking doubtfully at him, I think, because I was about to ask 1) whether that meant it was okay, and 2) how do you explain multi-millionaire terrorists like Bin Laden then? He immediately cut off the entire discussion. Whatever.

In the morning we went to the Hindu temple, except I couldn't go because I had to take my car home because the back window got busted out overnight. Jerk took my gloves and sunglasses. That's all. Anyway, I took the car to the shop and they fixed it that day. So I left that car there, borrowed another one, and met the group at the Hindu tempple, but they were done.

Next was the Buddhist temple. A beautiful building on the north side of Chicago. The leader was very honest about buddhism, basically saying, if you're looking for God, don't look here. He also encouraged the kids to become good Christians. He's a very nice man. I have always liked the buddhists we visit.

Next was the B'hai Temple in Evanston, ot maybe Winnetka. Anyway, we had an actual Iranian B'hai talk to us. Went through persecution and knew people who were killed for their faith. Nonetheless, I find B'haism supremely boring and derivative. The kids were impressed, though. Every class is different. The last two classes thought B'haism was a scam. These guys liked it.

As usual, when we talked about it later, the kids said the trip was fascinating, but only made them that much more sure about being Christians.

I love this trip for just that reason.

Day 19.

Weekend Retreat

I'm going on a retreat this weekend with the confirmation class from our church. We will visit a mosque, a Hindu temple, a Buddhist temple and the Ba'Hai temple in Evanston. Then on Sunday we go to a Gsopel church on Chicago's south side. Place rocks. This is always a great trip, and the kids really "get" Chrisitianity more after seeing the various alternatives. Funny, me being as negative about the Koran and Sharia law and all, yet I really like the imam at the mosque we got to. Maybe he's just pretending, but he seems pretty open minded, and last time called Christians and Muslims fellow believers. If only that were a universal attitude among Muslims.

En Joie!

Untitled

Billy ran as fast as he could away from the crash of the broken window, down the hill on the side of the house and up over the dirt piles that the Bobcats had deposited from digging out the foundation months ago. Billy then raced through the construction fence around the back of the house. It was spring but the ground was hard. Men shouted inside the house making a noise like loud, wounded wild animals.

Once through the fence, Billy slipped into the narrow alleyway next to the Jensens' garage, hopped their peeling picket fence, and landed in Mrs. Jensen's newly dug garden with both feet. The wild animals were barely audible now, but the shreek from Mrs. Jensen -- who was just then staring out her kitchen window -- re-fired Billy's heart and he took off around the house, through the front yard, and dashed into the lilacs across the street, heading for home.

Just then, a shot rang out. A dog barked. Three small chickens cackled. A writer became bored. He -- the writer, not Billy -- had finished his five minutes of writing, and was ready to go back and play chess.

Five Minutes

There's an ancient Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times." Today, the forces of good, justice, human rights, liberty and human progress -- i.e., Western Civilization -- are under attack from without and from within. From without, Islamic fundamentalists using Western-created weapons, Western-developed technologies, Western propaganda techniques -- because nothing that the Islamic world has developed in the last thousand years is of any military value today --

Jesus this is boring. If you don't understand this story by now, little good it will do for me to explain it to you. Anyway, we live in interesting times. The next five hundred years of human history are at stake.

I have work to do tonight.

Blew that one!

It's hard to get five straight minutes on line when your 15 year-old daughter thinks access to the internet is an inalienable right. Church this morning, then youth service practice, then Da Bears over at Rick's house with a 72-foot HD TV screen -- maybe it's not quite that big, but it's huge! Followed by some work, and then a meeting with some friends over coffee. Lest night I read most of PJ O'Rourke's "Parliament of Whores," after reading "Give War a Chance." PJ is hilarious. I have "Peace Kills; America's Fun New Imperialism," also by PJ, waiting in the wings. Can't wait. My other favorite writer right now is Rick Reilly at Sports Illustrated. In fact, his column is the only reason I get that magazine. What is it with these Irish guys?

Five minutes

Barack Obama is nuts, and is going to toss his political career on the rocks. Obama has no experience, and will get chewed up alive running for president. If he's lucky, he'll crap out early on and back away. If he does well early, he's toast, and by the end of this political season will be such damaged goods he'll never be able to run for national office again. I can't believe a freshman Senator is running for president. Hillary Clinton will eat him for a snack.

That ain't five minutes worth but it's all I got tonight.

A New Day

This is going to be really, really boring for awhile. I've decided to spend at least five minutes a day writing on my blog, instead of waiting for my brilliant muse to strike me. I need the practice. I have no topic today, however. Is my five minutes up? Tick tick tick. Nope.

I've been listening to the new Jars of Clay album, Good Monsters. "There is a River" is the best cut on it, followed closely by "Oh My God." Nice album.

I began to read Ann Coulter's "Godless -- The Church of American Liberalism." The first chapter is a good read and she makes some good, if wildly over-exagerated (why don't they have spell check on blogger?) points. Sounds to me like she doesn't know any liberal Christians. I know lots. Anyway, after the first chapter, she just gets ... screechy or something. I'm sure there are coherent points in the rest of the book, but it's hard to tell between all of the hawk-like screeches and various ways of referring to Bill Clinton's tete-a-tete with Monica Lewinski, which appears at least once every two pages after the first chapter. I put it down after the third chapter. Ann -- Less screechy please. At least if you want me to read you.

Ding! Five minutes! Wee ha!

Congress shall make no law ...

... abridging the freedom of speech. First Amendment to the US Constitution.

Two of the flakiest left wingers in the U.S. Congress -- John Conyers and Dennis Kucinich -- are among those proposing a Congressional Resolution stating that Congress:

1. condemns bigotry, acts of violence, and intolerance against any religious group, including our friends, neighbors, and citizens of the Islamic faith;
2. declares that the civil rights and civil liberties of all individuals, including those of the Islamic faith, should be protected;
3. recognizes that the Quran, the holy book of Islam, as any other holy book of any religion, should be treated with dignity and respect; and
4. calls upon local, State, and Federal authorities to work to prevent bias-motivated crimes and acts against all individuals, including those of the Islamic faith.

This is a toe-in-the-water "resolution" -- not a law carrying penalties for its violation yet -- testing whether religious "bias crime" laws will be tolerated, that especially picks out for protection the religious faith of our nation's enemies. Odd bit of work here, no?

Tell me; Have I violated this resolution if I write that Islam is a horrific religion raising to the level of sacred law the backward, limiting, freedom-hating, militaristic, human enslaving tribal laws of a 6th Century charismatic madman? Or if I write that the Koran is a third-rate piece of literature that reveals more about its author's ignorance than it reveals about God?

Why shouldn't I be able to write that? What if I think it's true -- which I do, based on my own reading of the Koran and study of the religion?

I think this resolution, were it in fact a penalty-carrying law, would outlaw such statements. After all, it would outlaw "intolerance" and "bias motivated ... acts." There are laws on the books in some countries, Australia among them, that do outlaw "bias crimes." Two evangelical preachers there have been convicted of violating that law for reading quotations from the Koran itself and pointing out how violent much of it is. That case is on appeal and I can only hope the Australian legislature realizes in the meantime what a stupid law it is.

I will watch with interest what happens with this stupid Resolution. If it passes, this Congress may actually get around to trying to pass it as a law with teeth.
Here is the full text of the Resolution.

House Resolution 288

Oh, and here's a photo of my Koran, post read:

Muslim Outrage at Saddam's Decapitation

AP -- Baghdad

Muslims here in Baghdad staged massive protests today over the above pictured decapitation of former Iraqi President Saddam Hoodat.

"I am massively outraged," said Mohammed Al-Wuzzahwuzzah, referring to the execution of Hoodat, who personally ordered the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Iraqi Kurds and Shi'ites, the rape and torture of thousands of otherwise innocent Iraqis, and sent millions of Iraqis to their deaths in the Iraq-Iran war. "This is a travesty of human injustice."

"I was also really pissed about those cartoons," Al-hoody-hoody said. Get a frickin' name, wouldja?

"Oh, wait," said Al-zippidee-doodah, "That's just an innocent cow. Never mind."

Seasons Greeting from Ayman Al-Zawahiri

Makes you want to hug someone, doesn't it?

Sunddenly, I LOVE Rap!

Study: Koran is the Result of Epileptic Fits

Gee, Think this guy will get into any trouble?

I coulda told you that much.

What kind of soldier are you?

You scored as Special Ops. Special ops. You're sneaky, tactful, and a loner. You prefer to do your jobs alone, working where you don't come into contact with people. But everyonce in a while you hit it big and are noticed and given fame. Your given the more sensitive problems. You get things done, and do what has to be done. "VULCAN NECK PINCH!!!""owww.......(slump)" Special Ops 88% Support Gunner 75% Combat Infantry 75% Officer 56% Engineer 56% Medic 44% Artillery/Armor 31% Civilian 6% Which soldier type are you? created with QuizFarm.com

But don't take my word for it ...

The enemy reads the Idiots' Stupid Giveup Report the same way: Victory for "the real Islam." Obviously that must be the peaceful one, right? Nope.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3337283,00.html

The Iraq Study Group Report

I was going to review the Iraq Study Group Report in detail, which I have read, but the New York Post has already pretty much summed up all that I had to say:

New US Airways Ad

You may have heard about the six "imams" (does anyone know what makes someone an imam other than calling yourself one?) who screamed Allah Akbar prayers at an airline terminal, and then moved around the plane they boarded in a threatening way, and asked for seatbelt extensions but put them on the floor (they can be used as weapons), and then complained when the pilot properly booted them off, and now have threatened to BOYCOTT the offending airline, US Airways. In response, the airline is sporting this advertisement:

The First Draft -- More Love Notes from The Religion O' Peace

AP-Tehran -- The original draft of Iranian President MaMood Amentojihad's "Letter to teh American People" has been recovered through the use of the Word program's 'Track Changes' feature in the document emailed to the AP. Excerpted portions of the initial draft follow:

In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful

O, Almighty God, bestow upon humanity David Hasellhoff promised to all by you, and make us among his followers.

Infidel sons of apes and pigs,

Were we not faced with the activities of the U.S. administration undermining our plans to take over southern Iraq and its oil fields, and to wipe out the infidel Jew from our midst, and all the ramifications those activities would have on the glory of Iran and the stirring of the coming Mahdi;

Were the American people aware of these plans and dreams of my people, well, me anyway, while the U.S. administration apparently is and keeps getting in my way;

Then there would be little urgency to attempt to deceive you.

***

We are all inclined towards our own good, and towards extending our power over those we despise.

We all deplore the injustice of allowing women to take schooling and show their faces in public, the stoning of people unless at least one Muslim testifies they have committed a sexual sin, and the humiliation we feel when our penis size is compared … no wait.

We all find darkness, deceit, lies and distortion useful a times, and this is one of those, in all sincerity and honesty,

***
Palestinian mothers, just like Iranian and American mothers, blow themselves up … Oh no, wait. Americans don’t do that … hmm hmmm hmmm. Let me think.

***

Let’s take a look at Iraq. Since the commencement of the US military presence in Iraq, thousands of Al Queda and Iranian operatives have been killed, which is not very nice. The US military has rebuilt thousands of homes, schools and is supplying electricity to areas that never had it before, and the Iraqi people twice have voted in defiance of the Iranian, I mean, um, terrorist … wait, where is this going? [Note to self, Call Kos for the party line on this one.]

***

I’d also like to say a word to the winners of the recent elections in the US:
WOOHOO! Yeeha! We win!

XXOO

Monkeyboy Amentojihad

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1164881801325&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

Oh -- And here is a recent photo of an infidel son of monkeys and pigs:

"Imagine" -- Yoko Ono calls for world peace

AP -- London

Yoko Ono this morning called for world peace, imploring leaders everywhere to work together in harmony and understanding.

"Aiyyyeeeeeeeee, ack-ack-ack," Ono screeched, squinching her tiny, bat-like face into something resembling a concerned scowl. "Ack."

"Oh yeah. Wow, man. Peace," said Iranian President Mahmoud Amentojihad. Amentojihad immediately ordered all Iranian nuclear reactors shut down, its nuclear centrifuges turned over to the Iranian Ice Cream Manufacturers' Guild, and a dozen long-stemmed roses sent to every Jewish family in Israel.

Upon hearing of Ono's call for peace, Moqtada "Tada!" al Sadr briefly ceased drilling the kneecaps of a local Sunni muslim and said, "Hmm, all this time why didn't I think of that?"

"Gorry," stated North Korean President Kim Ill-Dung, "Rots and rots of times I thought, 'Freece,' or 'Greece,' and here the whore time it was 'Peace.' Carr me sirry!" Ill-Dung then hit his 47th hole-in-one this week, with a 12-inch softball and a tire-iron.

Riots broke out globally in several major cities in predominantly muslim nations, protesters carrying pictures of cartoons of Mohammed and chanting, "All we are saying, is give Peanuts a chance."

By the way, that headline? Real. Look it up. Sheesh.

Love notes from the Religion O' Peace

Here ya go.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3328416,00.html

Nuke these f--kers. Please.

Nice

"Some sort of political bird flu has killed all the hawks and replaced them with creatures that mill around civilized capitals making cooing noises and fleeing in panic when someone toots a car horn."

James Lileks is so funny. Go here.

http://www.newhousenews.com/archive/lileks111506.html

Apologies

I'm a dolt. I didn't think anyone read this blog and so I never checked comments to approve them. I've now gone back and approved all comments, and set it up so I get an email whenever my three readers comments. I'm very sorry. I was not intentionally ignoring you. Thanks for the comments!!

Hi, Kevin. I hope you're well.